Beauty & Wellness

Melissa Porter | Being Single on Valentine's Day

30 June 2020

Transformational Consultant Melissa Porter shares her thoughts on being single on Valentine's Day...

"Being single in 2017 is a choice. OK, the date may not turn out to be the love you were hoping for or indeed you may not even like them. But finding someone to spend time with, in the dawn of social media and online dating apps, is these days a sure thing.

So now we've established you're selectively single, let's continue.

In some social groups and demographics, there remains a stigma attached to single folk. I was recently at the receiving end of such silliness; 'You appear so lovely. Do you turn psycho behind closed doors?' Of course, you with the broad mind and limiting beliefs. That's exactly why I'm choosing to be single. Did I mention I declined a date with George Clooney and David Ginola? #didn'twanttoscarethem

Yes, some single people don't get invited out to dinner parties any longer. Some single people believe they'll never find love. Some single people believe they are incomplete without a partner. Some single people are bored being alone. Some single people are so freakin' whiny.

I need to tell you. If you're single it's not because there's a shortage of other single people. It's because your future partner…. is busy. He/she is either busy in a relationship, busy coming out of a relationship, busy growing emotionally or busy doing a whole plethora of other things. Just as I'd recommend you get a wiggle on with.

Such is life that we're unable to predict the mysterious magic of when exactly our love may appear. So, my suggestion?

Wake up each day as if you're about to start on your best adventure yet and work on being your best self. Become the CEO of your life and seek to sparkle in all you do starting with those clean thoughts.
Replace the fear-inspired lack-based thoughts with, I am enough. I am whole and complete. I seek an equal. You get the picture.
If someone is intent to make you feel anything less than wonderful because of your single status, question why you're friends with this person. I suggest deleting them permanently from your life. Yes, I'm a member of the happiness police.
If you think you're anything less than wonderful because of your single status, question why you're not in therapy. To get to the bottom of your limiting beliefs that are not serving you. To help you understand what are the patterns of thinking keeping you stuck making the same choices that don't serve you any longer.
Get a life! And my intention is not to shame you but to inspire you into action. To become your best version of yourself. I also know what it's like to feel invisible as a single person. My parents drilled it into me I was valuable only when married. It's BS and If I managed to work my way through it, so can you. These days with the benefit of having replaced my limiting thoughts and beliefs, I'm single and content with it. What do I do to feel content? I fill my days with visits to the gym, I read, I take walks, vacations, visit friends, watch what I like on the television, eat my favorite foods. All in the knowledge that at any moment, the magic of love may infiltrate my life and turn my tummy all topsy turvy.
I got very clear on the character and values I wanted to see in my partner. This wasn't a wish list; this was a must be list. Non-negotiable. I figured with a population of near 8 billion, there are plenty of options. Relationship failing, I'm happy being single so I feel I've nothing to lose getting specific with what I'd like to create in my future. (Here are a few of my favourites)
Integrity filled
Healthy self-worth
Family man
Feels free
Lives in America

And a tonne of other stuff.

I know some people are judging me that I'm high maintenance. Am I bothered? Of course, not. The way a person behaves and thinks is a snap shot of what's going on for them. Just because they say I'm high maintenance doesn't mean I am! It means they likely feel insecure about being measured against a list they feel they fall short of or have lower self-esteem than myself. Being happily single requires a resilience and inner peace that many are unable to access. I've had people comment about how long-distance relationships don't work. Even someone suggesting I ought not to be so fussy. Hell, yes! I got your number miss playing small. Ignore their BS. They're simply projecting their personal experiences and limiting beliefs onto you.

Know that anything is possible when you believe in infinite possibilities and trust that you are perfect single, in a couple or even a threesome. Whatever blows your hair back dear friends. As long as you know you're perfect just as you are.

Good luck with your search for happiness. Remember it always starts with yourself. Enjoy your partner, they're arriving anytime soon!"

If you'd like to watch Melissa's inspirational videos check out her Happy Pills TV via Melissa is a certified life coach and if you'd like to book a free sample session with her complete the details via the website.

Melissa Porter is a Member of Ferrari Concierge by Quintessentially. Interested in becoming a Quintessentially Member? Request more information

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